Suggested questions — feel free to pick and choose, or come up with your own.
Q1: We all know that suffering exists. But why do you think it can feel so personal when it hits? Why does it take us off guard? Have you ever experienced this?
Q2: What are your thoughts on lament — pouring out your honest thoughts and emotions to God in prayer? Does it feel risky, disrespectful, or perhaps even dangerous? And have you ever leaned into it as a key survival tool?
Q3: Psalm 34:18 says “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit”. Have you ever considered that, in tough times, pouring out your brokenness in prayer can be the very means of accessing God’s presence, perhaps in a new and deeper way?
Q4: I’m always keen to avoid directly accusing God of anything (I’m too afraid!), like some of the passages of lament seem to do. Instead, I’ve always wrapped it in a softer expression — “Lord, this is what feels so true…” or “Lord, I’m struggling with this thought…” or “this is what I’m so confused about”. Can you share any techniques yourself which help you access lament and honesty with God?
Exercise: The Bible contains Psalms and passages of lament, not only giving you permission to do the same, but even language to express your heart when words fail you. They’re also a comfort that this feeling (or even crisis of faith) is common amongst God’s people. It’s something to work through in prayer rather than bottle away. Perhaps take a moment to read a few of the following: Psalm 13, 22, 88; and Job 3.
Q5: What are the dangers of failing to lament, failing to process grief and be honest with yourself and God? Are we in danger of wanting to appear a bit too strong and together at times? How does this hinder or stunt our faith?
Q6: When struggling in hard times, have you ever tried to write your thoughts and feelings down, or even write out your prayers? There’s something about the process of forming words on a page that starts to bring order and structure to chaotic thoughts and emotions, and brings a sense of clarity.
Q7: We tend to love stories where a Christian perseveres and says “I could never have got through this without my faith”, but we can gloss over a reality that our faith can also make suffering harder. If the way we understand our Bibles and see God is just a little off, it can leave us vulnerable to feelings of being forgotten or abandoned. Have you experienced this firsthand?
Pray. Have you noticed that almost every prayer you pray for God to move or intercede has a form of lament embedded within it? “Lord, if you don’t do something, what will become of them? …How will they understand the gospel, if you don’t speak to them?” Why not lean into lament as a way of pleading with God for him to move, in whatever situation, expressing your dependance on him.